We relate to ourselves and the world from a still place within — a place of compassion, truth, clarity, and peace. To maintain self-connection, NVC proposes a daily process known as “Remembering.” Examples of Remembering practices include meditation, prayer, inspirational readings, poetry, inspirational music, and quiet time in nature.

We express ourselves vulnerably and without criticism or blame. We reveal our feelings and needs and ask for what we want, without making demands.

We listen to others with a silent mind and an open heart. Our sole purpose in such listening is to connect with the speaker by understanding their meaning, feelings, and needs without judgment. We attempt to remain empathically present even when we are being targeted with criticism, blame, and other such forms of communication.

When we fail at empathic presence, becoming angry or otherwise unable to listen with an open heart, we give ourselves empathy. We take time out to vent our judgments in the privacy of our minds. We identify and connect with the unmet needs in a given interaction, and we mourn the pain of our unmet needs. This process enables reconnection with our essence — love and compassion. Once we experience an organic shift toward a calmer and clearer mind, we ask ourselves what we can do to fulfill the unmet needs in the situation.